These photos are courtesy Evil Warden Moad Terran HQ:
There is NO "Pumpkin Man"! If you DON'T behave, you won't be allowed to play with your club for a WEEK...!"
As some of you may know, Y'Shakaa
is one of AMPUTHEATRE's most diabolical villains: an evil, inhuman sorceror and leader of the Lemurian Warrior Caste... possessed of immense cryomantic powers... driven by genocidal intent... commander of a terrifying legion of demons and monsters... unafraid to challenge the Evil Wardens for eternal dominance of the earth. Here he is hitting himself in the head with a hammer.
In the background, Gnash readies the Gunsaw
to decapitate the winner of Crucifiend vs. Riptease, who currently feels a humid, fetid wind on the back of the neck...
Finally, Moad and I were surprised to see a SimCon staffer gingerly stride over to the barren Mt. Ripper board with a figure of Donkey Kong in his hand. He placed Kong on the mountain and readied his digital camera. I laughed so hard that No, FUCK that noise
came out of my nose. Let Jinglebunny and Crucifiend demonstrate what happens to anyone STUPID enough to enter the AMPUTHEATRE...
Yes, it kind of does
look like Crucifiend is doing something extremely unwholesome to poor DK. I submit that Cruiser (that's Kalessindb
's nickname for him) has very long legs, and if you study the photo closely you'll see his belt is waaaay
higher than Kong's butt.
Then again, maybe Crucifiend does
want to do him. I wouldn't put it past him.
On third thought, Crucifiend is
blind. Maybe the other Slashers told him it was Kate Moss in a fur coat or something... it was
April Fool's Day just recently. Maybe the other Slashers would really
appreciate it if nobody told Crucifiend what he did- or about the photographs- since Cruiser really doesn't need any help in being pissed off.
You know... the more I think about this, the less happy I get. Hey, did I mention I'll be at UBCon
at the University of Buffalo on April 12-13?
No? Well, I will be! See you there!